short, Jealosly Confession

Well, I am back to hating people. Why am I so jealous? I guess because I never had anyone really like me. yes, I Lavender I.V. Blackwell have low self esteem. Not a big shocker, but now it is getting bad. Today, Seth, who I am like THIS close to stabbing in the throat, let Tara feel his chest. WAs it to piss me off, Hells ya! I mean, why do that schoosh around me? he does all kinds of things to irk me. He ignors me, or gives me these stares likeyou give someone who is a total idiot. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but I can't help it! I don't think I like him anymore yet I can't get him off my mind. Why can't there be some Muslim guy who comes to save the day? Oh that's right, Muslim guys suck, they never care about people like me, since I look like an old maid. Dammit! I am 22 damn near 23 and this is what my life has become? I'm off tho, I have a class. Just needed to rant about this.

Hormonal Confession

Greetings to the 3 people reading this. It is my wish that you all feel WAY better than I do, and that I have been feeling lately. I am SO hormonally screwed up. I cry for no reason, I get mad for no reason, I get depressed for no real reason. I hate people. See here is what has been happening.
Seth and I are (or were) cool right? Well, I acted all weird and apologized, though I know I was not to blame, he was clearly flirting with Tara. She has been flirting with him too, and it pisses me off, but whatever, I need to move on. Lately, Seth has been ignoring me and acting like I am a pest, which is SO not fair, I wanna just slap him, but no tolerance at work. Then, Tara has been acting like she cares when she obviously doesn't. Why can't people just hate me to my face?
Also, I have decided to move to Buffalo once I graduate. Or at least vacation there soon. I mean, I was watching the Bill-Jets game (Buffalo won, yea!). All the Bills stuff made me wanna leave here SO bad. THen I go to the store and it is Eagles city. Barf! IT totally is rubbish. I swear, it is like I am a Buffalonian who was switched with a jerseyan. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE NJ, it is home, but Buffalo is just so much better. It is like a Big Freehold, my hometown. *sigh* Plus, I fear losing everything to my friends. I think I am gonna have to find my spouse in the worst possible place, I won't reveal it now though, it is too horrible. Eid is coming up, and they ren't having it in my town, (yea!) so hopefully I will go somewhere with eligibles. I need to lose weight! I am such a pig. I don't eat a lot, and it is Ramadan but I have lost NO weight I don't think. Damn. I am crying. I'm out.
Until I feel well enough to Confess again without crying...