Somewhar apologetic confession

OKay, so I said some mean things before. I am sorry. I thought about deleting the post, but then I realized that this is who I am. I say mean things and regret it. If I always did that, things wouldnt be real. This blog is the real me. So I wanna say sorry and that I didn't mean those evil mean things. If people ask, of course it will go, but for now, it is staying.
Me and Kamran made up, and I even met his mom!
that's all for another confession though...

Jealous confession

Okay, so again it has been a while since I lastblogged. What? can't a girl be busy?
So like, I have survived countless arguments with KAmran, we go out a lot, but nothing too serious. We hang out with my sisters or at his job. Thing is, he is always talkin about this girl we know. He likes her, but she married some african dude. whatever, I dont care, but why does he always have to like, talk about her? Oh she has a nice smile and she is so fuckin sweet, bullshit. But the thing that pissed me the fuck off was when he said he was attracted to the bitch. its like WHAT? dumb fucker. I mean, why the hell would you tell me this, and yet I am in your eyes a turd or some ugly beast? Ive been irked all day and yes I snapped at him. I dont care if you are friends on facebook. In fact, I think I shall delete them both.
Am I a jealous person? hell yeah. I mean, why shouldnt I be? everybody around me has someone, is fuckin happy while I am alone and miserable. I probably shouldnt be jealous of the bitch, but you better believe I am and I am not ashamed to admit it. She is fuckin married and yet she is STILL getting his attention. I am single, and not that bad and he ignors me. It is just flat out wrong. He claims I never told him how I felt about it. Which is bullshit because I totally told him not to talk about her to me. He just never listens.
Now, he is not talking to me, and while I am willing to talk to him, I am not going to apologize anymore than I have. I feel he did me wrong, i cried about this shit. I mean, if he REALLY was my friend and REALLY cared about me, he would understand my situation. This is a bitch who he fuckin liked, drempt of fuckin or some shit, why the hell should I be exposed to him constantly talking about her?
I know her too, she isnt all that. She got some fucked up shit goin on, marryin some african illegal or something. so like, if he likes the bitch, why doesnt he fuckin go to her?
Here is why (GOD, this is so wrong, especially after all this cussin I been doin)
Kamran and I are buddies. After today, he claims this is why we are not friends. I say bull, because if he was really a man, he wouldnt talk about stuff like that

Ok OK, the reason.

Kamran and I have based this relationship we have on our love for Allah (see why this is so bad!)
We try to encourage each other to be better people. This is great. only HE is trying to drive me crazy. Acting like I need WAY more help than him. I mean, come ON shelly! I know I have my faults, but admitting your problem is the first step in beating your issues. He claims to be perfect, but everyone knows the "perfect" ones are the ones with the most issues. CASE IN POINT.
ok ok until I confess again...