confession of congrats?

Greetings all. I am so kinda depressed. And to think, my best friend is in a different country. Though, I talked to her, and she is sad too.
See, Abby's sister Halima got married today. And as usual, I am the unofficial bridesmaid. Maid of honor if you will. I took her everywhere she needed to go before the wedding, just like I did for my friend last year. It is weird. I do all of this, and I am happy to do it, but deep down inside, I am so jealous. I wish it was me, you know? And of course, me being older than everyone makes it even worse. When will my time come? Who is out there for me? Why must I wait and become an old maid, you know?
In other news, I survived a tiff with Kamran. He was mad that I asked him if he was gay. Sometimes, that boy irks me, even though I have those feelings. It is so weird. He said he needed time, but well, he and I made up. Sometimes, we are like a married couple, which sucks big time because he is a good guy, a nice friend, and dammit, if I am gonna have a "husband" I better be sleepin with him.
Okay, enough of my bellyachin. I'm out. need to rest.
Until next time...

Disgusted confession

Greeting peoples. I am so mad right now. Everytime I try and do something potentially good, things blow up in my face. this is why I never did anything. I am so mad.
See, I have been involved in this group- three trees for about 6 months. I finally decide to get the Jersey chapter up and running and it seemed to start off well. I has people interested and whatnot. Well, today was supposed to be the first official meeting but everyone cancelled. I am so hurt and disgusted. And to think, I stayed up all night worrying myself sick. Oh well
In other news, I think I am in love with Kamran. Yes, I said it. I can finally admit it to myself, but not to him. That would totally ruin our amazing friendship. Still, he is everything I ever wanted, only I never realized it. We can talk for hours and it doesn't get weird. he sings to me, and listens to my problems. I can tell from his eyes that he actually cares about me, even if it is a only a friend. I have never felt accepted from a guy before. not like this. I can call him when I have a problem and he answers it for me. but alas, he isn't interested in me. in fact, on a daily basis he tells me he is like my brother and me and him together is gross. I play it off like I too think its icky, but t kinda hurts. Yesterday, I asked his favorite song (its some r kelly song I never heard of) When I told him mine was Always and forever, he started singing it to me. It was hella sweet, but like a 12 year old, I said eww and that was gross. That wasn't the first time he sang to me. every once in awhile, he's sing something. It's the sweetest thing. I sometimes like to think of him as my boyfriend, but i know he isn't. *sigh*
Well, I am going back to bed,
Until I confess some more...

confession- oh yeah this is a confession

Greetings all. I have a real life crisis on my hands