desperate confession

Well, I am SO depressed. I came to the realization that I will graduate from college next month more single than I was going in. It is SO depressing. I know there is someone out there, but it seems like everything is going okay now for me. I have a state job, with benefits, I got into the college of my choice. I am kinda happy, but I want someone to share my happiness with. I need a man badly. It's not about sex, I know that. BAsically, I need someone to talk to when I feel sad, which is a lot, and someone who won't mind me crying. Something I also do often. I know the person I want, but I am too shy, and then, what if he doesn't like me. I feel like a 14 year old, sheesh, having a crush, hell, I dont REALLY know the guy, he just SEEMS perfect for me. I thought Tyler was perfect (why am I lyin, I never thought he was perfect, I just settled) I can't imagine why I am feeling so down. The weather is rainy, MY favorite type. I worked today, was fine, though I have a new fear. Im afraid of driving on the NJ Turnpike at night. There was this horrible accident this morning, and well, 3 people died. I been wantin to cry all day, cause there was a fire and the people were so burned they have to Id them with dental records. I was bummed out, but not like this. Maybe if I had someone, I could talk to him. My friends wont listen to me. They claim I am either a drama queen or a big baby. So I never tell them how I feel. I also did something bad the other day, though I haven't gone through with it. I cant bring myself to do that. Oh well. maybe if someone comes online, I will feel better. It is after all better than feeling like a total loser.